Q: I was having a debate with a friend of mine recently because he said that if someone cheats on their boyfriend/girlfriend then it's the one who got cheated on's fault. But I say the cheater is ALWAYS to blame and the other person shouldn't feel guilty! What do you think?
A: Ok, naturally I will have to agree with you in saying that the cheater is always to blame. I say that solely because that person has purposely made that choice to have sex with someone outside of their relationship and so they are fully responsible no matter what their partner has done. However, I will also say that your friend may be on to something. Not to say that the person getting cheated on should feel guilty but they should be curious as to why their partner has decided to go for something outside of their relationship. Obviously there is something that their partner wants and is not getting from them (unless their partner is just a whore with commitment issues). And if your partner is not getting what they need from you, they will naturally have the desire to find it elsewhere. That doesn't excuse cheating at all though so they're still to blame!
It all comes down to communication. If someone is not getting what they need from their partner, they need to talk to their partner about that and explain exactly how they feel! Sometimes that can be awkward and difficult but it must be done for a relationship to be successful! And if you feel like you can't be completely faithful to one person completely yet, don't get into a relationship! Find you a good "friend with benefits" or boo. Being a whore is totally fine if that's your prerogative and you're single! But once you have a relationship, you are playing with someone's heart and that is no joke! Also people downplay "open relationships" but I think it's a credible solution for couples that feel like they just can not stay faithful sexually to each other but still want to be together (as long as both parties agree to this arrangement).
I will admit I've cheated numerous times and I'm certainly not proud of it. I think I did it simply because I liked the extra attention even when my boo wasn't around to give it to me. And, for some reason, whenever you're single no one wants you but as soon as you get a boo EVERYONE comes out the wood works trying to get with you!!! It just so happened that everytime I had a good boyfriend or girlfriend, someone new would come along and try to steal me away. During the times that I cheated, I was young and dumb and I didn't really appreciate the person I was with! That played a major part in it too. But I would never blame them. It was my fault and I accept that. If I could go back and do it again, I would definitely not have cheated!
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