Q: You're a guy so maybe you know. Why do guys always want to act like they wanna be my boyfriend but then say they don't want a relationship? Like they're willing to do everything that a boyfriend does except commit! Help!
A: It's so funny that you're asking me this because I went through this EXACT same situation with my last ex! We were dating before but it didn't work out. Then a few months later we decided to give it another chance. But this time, he made it clear to me that he didn't wanna be in an official relationship again. However, he was staying over at my apartment every night, talking to me/texting on the phone all day, talking to me about everything and of course having sex with me. He even would get upset when I flirted with other guys. In my eyes, despite what he said when it first started, we were an official couple. But, in his eyes, he was still free to do whatever and WHOever he wanted and he made that quite clear when he decided to have sex with other people. When I found out about that, I flipped shit and showed my ass! But his defense was that "we aren't officially together."
That experience clearly illustrated the idea of him trying to "have his cake and eat it too" and I refuse to deal with that... as should you! Guys love the idea of being able to have the perks that come along with being a boyfriend without having to answer to you or be tied down to one person! Think about it...if you could have someone that's gonna be there for you whenever you want, hold you at night, be able to go on dates with you and support you in whatever which way BUT STILL have the freedom to go have sex with or be with someone else if you want to, wouldn't you jump on that opportunity too? It's a win/win situation for them and they could care less if you're the one that's "losing"!
It's simple...STOP ALLOWING MEN TO DO THIS TO YOU! There's obviously an issue if he doesn't want to commit to you so figure out what that issue is and get it addressed before you start playing like the good girlfriend! Make it clear to them that they can not have the benefits that come along with being your man if they are not willing to fully commit quite yet. Don't approach him with a Beyonce mentality though! You can not insist that he "put a ring on it" or go into it thinking that you're so "irreplaceable"! LoL but you do have the right to let him know you have boundaries, limits and standards that he needs to respect if he plans on being a part of your life. If he can't understand that, let him go because there is always someone out there that IS willing to be official with you!
Let's not get it twisted though. I know plenty of girls as well who try to play this game with guys! Ladies, the same rules apply to you! You can't enjoy the benefits that come along with being someone's girlfriend if you're not ready to commit to the guy who's treating you as such!
No comments:
Post a Comment